


your love would be too much

by cressisaqueen



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Deleted Scenes, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Pining, Slow Burn, Spider-Man: Far From Home (Movie) Spoilers, Spideychelle, also some endgame spoilers i guess, i make my own timeline because fuck marvel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 12:54:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19888168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cressisaqueen/pseuds/cressisaqueen
Summary: five times peter wanted to kiss michelle and one time he actually does





	your love would be too much

**Author's Note:**

> so far from home is now the best marvel movie and i love peter and mj too much 
> 
> i don't know if the timeline here makes sense but it probably works better than marvel's so

**i.**

To say that Peter has a crush on MJ is an overstatement. He doesn’t have a crush on her; he just wants to spend a lot of time with her, and if they’re alone then that’s just a bonus _._ Because they’re friends. No crush, no romantic feelings whatsoever. 

“Dude, why are you staring at Michelle?” Ned asks in gym. MJ’s sitting on the bleachers, reading a book, obviously not caring that they’re supposed to be doing pushups. She’s so invested in her book, paying no attention to the rest of the world. Her eyes have an intensity to them, and Peter’s never noticed how pretty- 

“I’m not staring,” Peter squeaks out, embarrassed that he got caught. “I was just reading the title of her book.” 

“For the past five minutes?” Ned asks, obviously not believing Peter’s lie. You’d think that someone who’s (almost) successfully kept his identity a secret for about a year would be better at lying. But Peter’s never been able to lie to Ned. 

Peter nods, returning to his pushups to avoid Ned’s eye and to make sure he doesn’t stare at MJ again. 

One could say that Peter’s staring is a result of a crush, as he stared at Liz when he liked her. But MJ is just a friend; a friend with strong opinions, and an endless supply of comebacks, and really pretty eyes- 

“Are you okay?” MJ asks at lunch. Peter snaps out of whatever trance he was in, takes in his surroundings. Because he was too busy staring at MJ to pay attention. 

“Uh, yeah, just not feeling well,” Peter lies, faking a cough to drive the point home. MJ raises an eyebrow, shares a look with Ned, and returns to her book. 

Ever since MJ became the new Decathalon captain, she’s been sitting with Peter and Ned more and more. And not ‘sitting at the next table while making comments about how nerdy they are’ but actually _sitting_ with them. At their lunch table. It’s been nice and simultaneously weird, and Peter’s only slightly worried that he’ll say the wrong thing and she’ll go back to her own table, flipping him off on the way. 

But five months later, and she’s still here. 

“So,” Ned says, pulling three movie tickets out of his backpack, “there’s a _Star Wars_ marathon at this drive-in movie lot tomorrow night. Who’s with me cause these tickets actually cost a lot.” 

Peter automatically says yes. He looks at MJ, trying to read her expression, wishing this time he’ll finally know what she’s thinking. He hopes she’ll say yes, desperately wants her to say yes. Because they’re friends. 

“Sure, why not.” Peter’s smile is too big to hide. 

* * *

They agreed to meet at Peter’s apartment and then drive to the lot together. Ned’s dad is letting them borrow his truck so they won’t be crammed in the back of Aunt May’s car. 

“So, you’re totally sitting next to MJ,” Ned says, filling up his bag with snacks. Peter grabs a pillow and throws it at Ned. He dodges, saying, “You have to admit there’s something there.” 

“There is nothing there,” Peter says, feeling his cheeks heat up. For something to happen, Peter would need to like MJ, and she would need to like him back. Which isn’t their situation. 

“You just need the perfect moment to put your arm around her or something.” Peter rolls his eyes. The ‘perfect moment’, ha. It’s _Star Wars,_ there is no perfect moment to make a move on the girl you’re definitely not crushing on. 

Ten minutes later and MJ’s at the door, wearing a t-shirt with the word Steminist in big block letters. Peter’s heart almost combusts. 

“Okay, but _Rogue One_ is the best movie,” MJ says once they pull into the lot. Ned scoffs, a true _Empire Strikes Back_ fan at heart. Peter feels trapped; he knows that Ned is right, but he also doesn’t want to gang up on MJ. Except she wouldn’t care. She would just tell them that they’re wrong. 

The first (though technically fourth) movie starts to play and Peter can feel anxiety beginning to swirl in his stomach. His shoulder is touching MJ’s and she’s just _so close_ that Peter can’t catch his breath. 

It’s not as if they haven’t been in close proximity before; she usually leans her head on his shoulder after Decathalon practice while they wait for their rides, or sometimes he’ll drape his leg over hers when they have study sessions. But that was all before she made his heart beat against his ribcage hard enough to shatter it. 

Halfway through _Return of the Jedi,_ Peter hears soft snores coming from MJ. She shifts slightly and snuggles against him. 

_I’m so screwed,_ Peter thinks, cheeks turning a bright red. 

* * *

“Shit, I didn’t think anyone would be up,” MJ says as Peter catches her in his kitchen, no doubt trying to find something to make tea with. 

Ned had suggested a sleepover as both he and MJ would be too tired to drive back to their apartments and it would be too late to call their parents. Peter didn’t mind, he always has Ned over, but MJ is a different story. It’s not that Peter doesn’t want her over, it’s the fact that she’ll see him in the morning with his stupid bedhead and Captain America pajama bottoms. 

But he couldn’t exactly say no to having her over, so here they are. 

“We don’t have a tea kettle or anything, just so you know,” Peter says, rubbing at his eyes. He thought he had heard something from the kitchen and saw that MJ disappeared. He imagined the worst: either she somehow got kidnapped or both she and May were up and sharing embarrassing stories about Peter. Both situations were serious enough to make him go out and check. 

MJ blushes, probably unnerved by how Peter knew exactly what she was after. Except he’s known her for almost two years now; he’s gotten better at reading her. At least he hopes. He knows basic things, like how she never has a favorite book for too long, or how she hates coloring any of her drawings, so she lets Betty do it for her. Other things are a complete mystery still. 

_She’ll tell you in time,_ Peter tells himself. He of all people shouldn’t be upset that MJ keeps things from him and Ned. She’s entitled to her secrets just as much as he is. 

“Tonight was fun,” MJ murmurs, her words hanging between the two of them. It _was_ fun and every little interaction had set Peter’s heart on fire. 

Okay, maybe he does have a crush on her. He definitely likes her, he’s certain of that. Because liking someone and having a crush on them is different. Maybe you’re supposed to have a crush on a person before you like them, but Peter’s never really been one to know how these things work. But whatever he’s feeling for MJ, he’s finally ready to dive in headfirst. 

“MJ, I-” 

“Did I say anything in my sleep? That happens sometimes,” she asks, cutting him off. She looks flustered, like she really doesn’t want to ask, but has to. 

“Uh, no, not that I heard.” She lets out a breath, a small smile on her face. 

“Good. Can’t have anyone finding out all my secrets.” There’s a knowing look in her eyes, like she’s telling a joke that Peter should get, but he doesn’t quite understand the punchline. 

“Yeah, you can’t have people figuring out you’re a secret agent.” MJ rolls her eyes, but her smile is still there. 

“For me to be a secret agent, I’d have to work for the government,” she explains. Peter laughs, then curses, hoping he didn’t wake May and Ned. They’d tease him relentlessly if they knew he was awake at ungodly hours just to talk to MJ. 

They stay still for what feels like an eternity, waiting to see if they woke anyone up. It only makes Peter want to laugh more. 

MJ must be thinking the same thing because she covers her mouth with her hand, stifling her laughter. And she suddenly looks so different, more open than she’s looked in the past few hours. Like she’s letting Peter in to see the parts of her that are still a mystery. 

He’s so in awe of her, of everything that she chooses to be. He suddenly feels so stupid for denying that he has any feelings for her before; there’s no doubt in his mind that he wants to be with her. 

The laughter dies down and it’s too quiet. Too vulnerable. Moonlight shines through the window and it reminds Peter of earlier at the drive in, how everything was illuminated by the moon and stars. 

“We should probably go back to bed,” MJ says, closing herself back up. Peter nods, his heart stuck in his throat. Except they’re standing still, making no sudden movements. And she’s so close to him, looking at him like _that,_ and Peter can only assume he’s looking at her the same way. What he wouldn’t give to close the space between them, to just press his lips against- 

“I thought I heard voices,” May says, voice groggy from sleep. Peter and MJ jump back, the moment ruined. 

“We were just heading back to my room,” Peter whispers, widening the distance that was so close to being nonexistent. 

Twenty minutes later, as Peter succumbs to sleep, he wonders if they had just another minute, if May hadn’t interrupted, would he really have kissed her? 

_Yes,_ he thinks, sleep about to overtake him, _I really would have._

* * *

**ii.**

Peter doesn’t feel too good. It feels like his entire body is going through a paper shredder. 

“Shit, shit,” he hears Tony Stark whisper, grabbing onto Peter’s arm. 

“Mr. Stark...” What the hell is happening? He can’t feel his legs anymore, like they’ve disappeared. 

He knew fighting aliens would be very different from fighting a literal giant man and a man with metal wings, but he didn’t think he would... die? Is that what’s happening to him? It’s getting harder and harder to think straight. 

“I don’t want to go,” he manages to choke out. He’s only a sophomore; there’s so much he still wants to do with his life. Graduate high school, go to his first Comic Con with Ned, maybe visit a foreign country. He wants to go on his first date with a girl he really likes. 

_“Do you think Spider-man realizes he’s his own_ _fursona_ _?”_ MJ had asked the day Peter swung off to help Iron Man. Peter had laughed so hard that he almost choked on his food. He wanted to kiss her in that moment, no longer scared of ruining their friendship. Now he’ll never get the chance to. 

_It’s going to be okay,_ a voice similar to his Uncle Ben echoes through his head. He’s missed him so much, and knows that if Ben’s saying it’s all okay, then it’s all okay. Peter will be fine; he won’t be gone long. 

That’s his last thought as he vanishes into dust. 

* * *

**iii.**

“All by yourself up here?” Peter asks. MJ doesn’t look back, just pats the spot next to her. Peter climbs onto the balcony railing, hand close enough to MJ’s in case she falls. 

It’s been almost four months since half the world came back into existence, almost four months since Tony Stark died. And Peter’s in Baltimore, Maryland, competing in a stupid Academic Decathalon championship. 

“I just found out that my cousin’s graduating college soon,” MJ whispers. She takes Peter’s hand, not very subtly in fact, and his heart does a mini cartwheel. When he had found out that MJ was one of the people dusted, he ironically felt relieved. They get to move on together, shared trauma and all. 

“I thought that was supposed to be a good thing,” Peter says. The night sky is clear of any clouds, filled with hundreds of thousands of stars. In any other situation it would be rather romantic. But MJ needs support, and that’s what Peter’s going to give her. 

“It is, except for the fact that she was a senior is high school last time I saw her. A month before we, you know...” She sounds like she’s on the verge of tears, which Peter isn’t very familiar with. He’s never known MJ to cry, just scowl and narrow her eyes whenever something mildly upsetting happens. 

Missing five years of your life can be enough to break someone though. 

“I’m the only one in my family who got dusted. Not my parents, or my sister. None of my extended family. How lucky am I,” MJ mutters, sarcasm coating her every word. Peter squeezes her hand, leans into her a little, hoping that that’s okay. She doesn’t push him off the railing or punch him, so he figures it must be. 

He wishes he could help, say that he understands, but he doesn’t. Everyone he cares about got dusted: Ned, Aunt May, even Liz Allan. He gets to start over alongside everyone. MJ doesn’t. 

_“This is Morgan Stark. Morgan, this is Peter Parker.”_

Maybe he _can_ help. 

“Right after everyone came back, I got to meet Tony Stark’s daughter.” MJ turns to look at him, eyes red and puffy. Okay, fuck Thanos for making Michelle Jones cry. 

“Tony Stark has a daughter?” Peter nods, squeezes MJ’s hand again. She squeezes back. 

“Yeah, she’s six now, I think.” MJ turns away from Peter, sniffles. 

“It’s so fucked up. I missed my little sister’s middle school graduation because some dumbass aliens thought they knew what was best for us.” Peter’s going to fight the entire world if it means MJ won’t ever have to feel like this again. 

MJ leans her head on Peter’s shoulder, despite their height difference, and fully lets herself cry. Cry for her sister and her cousin and everyone else she lost time with. 

Peter wonders if he should kiss the top of her head, knows it makes him feel better every time Aunt May does it. He doubts he’s at that point with MJ though. 

MJ sits up, climbs over the railing and back onto the balcony. 

“I think that’s enough emotions for one night,” she says, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. Peter follows suit, landing on the balcony. 

Peter can see tears rolling down her cheeks and knows that she’ll deny ever feeling one singular human emotion. He lets it slide. He knows how much she needs to feel in control, possibly for the first time in months. Besides, she needs to captain a team of intelligent dumbasses tomorrow. That’s enough feelings for tonight. 

“If I oversleep tomorrow, just know it’s your fault,” Peter teases. MJ smiles, and it almost reaches her eyes. 

Peter falls asleep that night knowing that it’ll take some time, but MJ and Ned and everyone else who got dusted will be all right again. They’ll all push through the trauma together. 

* * *

**iv.**

First of all, Peter is not a stalker. Second of all, neither is Spider-man. He’s only following MJ because it’s almost night time and anyone walking alone could be targeted. 

It’s not so he can see her, he sees her plenty. He'll be seeing her for two weeks in multiple foreign countries (cross that one off his bucket list) next month. He’s following her to keep her safe, of course. 

Not that she can’t take care of herself; she’s probably stronger than Peter even with his enhanced strength. He just can’t lose someone else he cares about, and if that means weirdly following her down the street then so be it. 

MJ walks past an alleyway, headphones on, hands in her jacket pockets despite it being summer and over eighty degrees. Then Peter loses sight of her. 

“Hey!” he hears her shout from the alleyway. Grunts follow, probably whoever grabbed her. 

Peter swings onto the top of the building above the alleyway. He sees a man and a woman, both tall and muscular. They both have ski masks on and are currently covering their eyes with their hands. MJ is breathing heavily, a can of pepper spray in her hand. 

MJ starts to run out of the alleyway, but the man reaches out to grab her. Peter shoots a web at his hand before he can touch her, gluing him to the side of the building. 

Peter jumps down into the alleyway, webbing the man’s other hand to the building. He goes to check if MJ’s okay, then feels a hand grab his shoulder and he’s thrown farther into the alley. The woman stands over him, a gun in her hand. 

“If you make any sudden movements, I’ll shoot, I’m serious,” the woman says. She sounds panicked, like she never meant to get caught. What she’s supposed to be doing, Peter’s unsure. But he won’t let her, or her accomplice hurt MJ. 

Peter sees movement behind the woman, hopefully MJ. The woman is then hit over the head with an empty beer bottle and falls to the ground. 

“Give me your hand,” MJ says, breathing heavily. She helps Peter up, kicks the gun across the alleyway. She looks like a total badass. 

“You stupid bitch!” the man yells from where he’s webbed. Except the webs are gone and he has a knife in his hand. Peter does the most logical thing in the moment, wraps his arm around MJ’s waist, and shoots a web onto the top of the building. 

“Hold on,” he mutters right before they’re in the air and MJ’s screaming. If their lives weren’t somewhat in danger, he’d find her fear of heights hilarious. But she doesn’t see Peter Parker, (hopefully) one of her best friends. She only sees Spider-man, and it would be kind of a dick move if he started to laugh. 

They land on the roof of the building, MJ still holding onto him. His skin feels like it’s on fire. 

“Um, you can let go, M-miss,” Peter says, hoping she didn’t notice his slipup. He’s almost sure she knows who he is, knows she’s more than smart enough to figure it out on her own. But he can’t risk anything. He refuses to make her a target. 

“Oh, right,” MJ says, slowly letting go. 

The man is still in the alleyway, gesturing widely with his knife. The woman is still knocked out, and her partner seemingly doesn’t care. 

Peter aims and fires a web at the man, hoping to knock the knife out of his hand. It partially works as the man is pinned against the wall again. Peter fires another web at his mouth, silencing him. He shoots a web at the woman, pinning her to the ground. He feels proud, a warm sensation every time he successfully stops a petty criminal. Saving the world is nice but making his own city a safer place is more his speed. 

“Uh, thank you for, um, saving me,” MJ says. She looks flustered, which is almost as rare as her crying. She’s usually so sure of herself, never allowing herself to feel flustered. Then again, her life was kind of in danger. 

“Yeah, no problem. All in a day’s work.” Peter puffs out his chest, hoping it makes him look more mature. MJ just grins at him. 

“Could you take me back down now?” It dawns on Peter that they’re still on the roof. 

“Oh, yes, yeah.” He wraps his arm around her waist again, feeling his cheeks heat up. Thank god for the mask. 

He sets her down on the ground gently, flips around so he’s upside down on his web, like an actual spider. MJ looks up at him. Peter wonders if she can somehow hear his heartbeat. It’s certainly loud enough that she could. 

She takes a small step toward him, and he’s taken back to the drive in, where she was all that he could focus on. It’s hard to believe that night was over five years ago. 

“Who are you?” MJ asks. Her hands find the edge of his mask and lifts it up, so his mouth and chin are visible. She leans in, and Peter’s heart is beating so hard that it has officially stopped working. 

She’s really going to kiss him. Peter almost braces himself, even though he’s wanted to kiss her for a very long time now. He just can’t believe it’s actually happening. 

Then an alarm goes off. MJ jumps back, looks to where the sound is coming from. Peter’s heart deflates like a balloon. 

“Looks like duty calls,” MJ mutters, walking out of the alley. Peter just stares at her as she leaves, taking a full minute to figure out what just happened. 

MJ was going to kiss him. He was going to let her because of course he was. Either she knows who he is, or she has a thing for superheroes. Both options are simultaneously good and bad. 

Maybe he needs to save her more often. 

* * *

**v.**

So far, Europe has kind of sucked. All Peter wanted was to have a nice vacation and stick to his plan. The only part of the plan that has worked was buying the necklace. 

Maybe he can redeem himself though. At least MJ actually agreed to walk with him, maybe now’s his chance. 

Yeah, he’ll tell her now. Who says Prague can’t be romantic? And if she feels the same way, then that’s amazing. If she feels the same way, then maybe he’ll finally get to kiss her. 

Peter stops on the bridge, hands in his pocket, heart in his throat. 

“Listen MJ, I-” 

“Am Spider-man,” she finishes for him. What? No, not part of the plan. He shakes his head like a dog after getting a bath. 

“No, no. I’m not Spider-man, that’s ridiculous,” Peter rushes out, knows he’s not being convincing. 

“I mean, it’s kind of obvious. Your sudden disappearances, why Spider-man was in DC with us. Plus, you and Ned are terrible at keeping secrets.” 

_Well, I’ve managed to keep my crush on you a secret so..._

Though Ned has not been subtle at all, and frankly neither has Peter. 

Then something dawns on Peter. 

“Did you only watch me and stuff because you thought I was Spider-man?” He can see MJ closing up, shutting him out. Of course, because she likes stupid Brad with his stupid hair. It’s so stupid. 

“O-of course. Why else would I be watching you?” And just like that Peter’s heart is crushed like a soda can. Europe officially sucks. 

Then something flashes and beeps from inside MJ’s pocket. She pulls out whatever’s making the noise and it clatters to the ground. Suddenly an elemental is in the sky and there’s Beck, flying around it. 

It’s gone as soon as it started. 

“What was that?” MJ asks. She’s closer to Peter now, and his breath hitches. 

It was definitely Beck, but how could that be possible? He can’t teleport, and how did that elemental appear out of nowhere? 

“It’s all an illusion. The elementals were never real,” Peter mutters. Oh god, what has he done? “Okay, MJ, I am actually Spider-man, and I think I really messed up.” 

“Wait, what?” MJ asks, looking from the projector to Peter. 

“It’s true. I’m Spider-man.” Anxiety is threatening to take over Peter’s entire body. He feels so stupid. His new plan: never go back to Europe. 

“Okay, I didn’t actually know. I was like sixty-two percent sure. Are you sure you’re not just screwing with me?” she asks, and now they’re both hyperventilating. 

“I’m pretty sure. Otherwise I have a weird disease that lets me stick to walls.” Oh god, the entire world is so screwed. 

Peter grabs the projector, pushing down his anxiety. He takes MJ’s hand and together they run back to the hotel, hoping to come up with a plan to fix this. 

* * *

**\+ i .**

Honestly, Peter can’t wait to get out of London. He just wants to be home right now, watching bad movies with Aunt May. He’s too tired to care about anything else. 

“Peter!” Wait, scratch that. MJ runs down the bridge, a mace (where did she get a mace?) in her hands. Peter didn’t think she could be even more of a badass. 

MJ tosses the mace aside, crushes him in a hug. He didn’t realize how badly he needed a hug until right now. 

“I was so worried about you,” MJ murmurs, still not letting go. 

“You were?” Peter asks. It’s unlike them to have serious conversations about their feelings. Then again, half of London was almost destroyed so why not? 

“Of course I was. You’re probably, most definitely my best friend. Besides,” MJ pulls away, “I had to thank you for this.” She holds up a partially broken black dahlia necklace. 

Happy came through. Peter smiles despite the necklace being destroyed. 

“I-I had this whole plan where I take you to the top of the Eiffel Tower, and give you the necklace, but now it’s broken.” 

MJ blushes and says, “I actually like it broken.” Peter thinks he might be in love with this girl. 

“I really like you. I have for a while now, and I just wanted this trip to-” Peter’s cut off by MJ pressing her lips against his. It’s short but sweet and Peter feels like his brain is short-circuiting. “You just kissed me.” 

“I didn’t watch you just because I thought you were Spider-man.” Peter’s face feels like it’s on fire, but he doesn’t care at this point. He could take on every single elemental by himself right now. 

Peter goes up on his toes and kisses MJ again. He thinks he could get addicted to kissing her. 

“Does this mean we can sit together on the flight back?” Peter asks. MJ laughs and they both lean into each other. 

At least one thing went right on this stupid trip. 

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on tumblr @cressisaqueen 
> 
> also i totally stole the iconic spiderman kiss because why not


End file.
